The Story of Turtle

Rules for Restaurants…

thestoryofturtle — Sat, 16 May 2009 04:14:33 +0000

Ok, folks… so I went to a restaurant not too long ago (Mother’s Day) with my family. There. I said it. I feel better now. No. Kidding. But really, I’ve realized that I have a problem. (Seriously!?!?! Another one?) Yes. Another one. You see, we all went in, and the hostess sat us at our table. All is good. Right? No. You have to remember this is me, my family doesn’t let me forget it. After we were given our menus and we had ample time to read them, I openly asked a question: “So what is everyone getting?” I get some responses, and then someone asks me what I chose… I told them I didn’t know yet, and this conversation sprung up:

Me: Ummm… I don’t know what I want yet…
My family (in unison): Oh God! Here we go again!
Me: What?
Sister: Who chose your dish?

Damn. They caught me. They know me too well. I have a quirks, SURPRISE! No? No one? Ok… so everyone knows, but I have particularly debilitating ones when it comes to dining out. I hate, with every fiber of my being, ordering the same dish as someone else at my table. It is probably one of the most ridiculous compulsions I have, but I really can’t help it, and have decided to live with it and let it run my life. I mean, if I’m going to have a bad habit it might as well be this one… along with all the other ones that I have. In fact, it has gotten to the point where I go through a process when I go out to eat:

Sit down and give everyone ample time to read menus.
While the other members of the table are picking; sneakily listen to any side conversations people are having to determine what they may choose from their menu.
Size up the people sitting at the table and try to determine from past experiences what they may pick and ignore those items on the menu.
Pick out an item from the menu that I am fairly certain no one will pick, but I am content with.
Then pick out two more options as back-up plans… just in case someone says you’re first choice during the survey.
Survey the members of the table… asking them what they are getting from the menu to make sure no one’s orders match up with mine.
If I do match up with someone… go with one of the back-up plans or if there is ample time, pick something else from the menu quietly.
Avoid answering the question: “What are you having?” So I don’t convince someone else to get the same thing.
When the waitress comes by, let everyone else go first making it seem like I’m being nice when I’m just making sure no one else has selected the same thing.

Seriously, this has gotten out of control… and now both my family and friends have caught on to my little scheme. So for fun, they’ll force me into ordering first, or tease me by coaxing the answer to “what are you having?” out of me. The first time when two of my close friends caught on, they made me go first and then ordered the same exact thing. I’m pretty there isn’t counseling for this particular problem… but if they did I would consider going… maybe… not… I don’t know. =/

Till later, Turtle

Tagged: Bored, compulsions, habits, I'm a weirdo, items, menus, OCD, orders, quirks, restaurants, strange, you know

25 Things About Me…

thestoryofturtle — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:08:38 +0000

1. I really want a ukulele, I won’t know how to play it, but the prospect of saying I’m a ukulele owner is too enticing.
2. I think that the smell of coffee is much more appetizing than the actual taste.
3. I don’t trust electric toothbrushes… I’ll stick to my manual dental cleaning devices.
4. I had trouble spelling the word “electric” just then.
5. I sometimes question my ability to formulate questions…
6. I really like school.
7. I have a feeling that I’ll be in Norway at some point in my life.
8. The “Reading Rainbow” theme song when I was younger always made me feel uneasy.
9. If I were a farmer, I’d grow corn.
10. I’m pretty sure that the staple remover is not nearly utilized enough in today’s society.
11. I’m not sure if this is true, but I think that the candy “whoppers” are made by the devil.
12. I have a pet turtle, I’m proud of her… I think she’ll grow up to be a doctor.
13. If I don’t have a deadline, I won’t do it… which is why I waited 3 years to get my driver’s license.
14. When I do well in school and start to become impressed with myself, I just look at my $500 bill for schoolbooks and realize that I’m really an idiot.
15. I’ve never been to Taco Bell.
16. I’ve never seen Star Wars… or Star Trek… really anything with Star in the title, I probably haven’t seen.
17. I’m sometimes awkward in every situation.
18. My phone sometimes forgets to ring.
19. I’m really curious about what will happen to my summer… I know what I want to happen… but I don’t know what WILL happen.
20. I’m easily impressed with bad joke or awful puns…
21. I sometimes wish I could go back in time to my childhood and actually follow a trend… like pogs, pokemon, or furbies.
22… is my favorite number.
23. If all of my plans fail, my backup idea is to make a coffee table book about the lighthouses in Norway that will eventually become a New York Times bestseller.
24. I can be repetitive at times.
25. I really want a ukulele…

Till later, Turtle

Tagged: 25, Bored, facebook, network site, random, strange, things, unknown, what

How I transport myself…

thestoryofturtle — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 21:49:03 +0000

I use public transportation. That’s right. The bus, train, trolley, and subway. I don’t discriminate. I share the love. I thrive off the hustle and bustle, I live for the metro passes, the smell of randomly empty seats, and that odd person that although the rest of the bus is completely empty, he/she will sit next to you regardless. I enjoy it. I like to think of myself as a very savvy person… having the city at my fingertips… ready to go at a moment’s notice.

Ok… I may have exaggerated a bit… public transportation my not be giving me the eternal happiness that I crave for, but it does what I need… usually. I like to think I’m saving a tree whenever I take the bus, train, or subway…

Did someone just shove me into one of corners of the seats? That’s ok… I’m saving a tree…
Did I just miss my stop because the bus is too crowded? The environment will thank me later…
What that lady’s huge handbag (that I’m pretty sure only contains bricks) smacked me in the head? I’m pretty sure I’m the next Captain Planet…

It gets me through the day.

Seriously though, I deal with it… and I enjoy the thought that I’m taking a somewhat Eco-friendly approach to my daily activities. Another fun game to play while waiting for the bus is to guess who’s honking at you… As you see here a typical bus stop here, it’s located on the corner of the sidewalk… exposed to traffic as buses use the road to drive too…

However, as I stand there, I like to gaze and people watch. I know, I know, but I enjoy it. Anyway, while I’m staring into space (so it may seem to the unsuspecting bystander) someone passing by in a car that I happen to know drives by honking their horn to say hello. It sounds like a normal occurrence… right?

Heh… no. This is me you’re honking at. Obviously I won’t react in the appropriate fashion. Instead of looking around for a couple of seconds, spot the person in the car who is waving to me and smile and wave back, I spaz out. You see, loud noises, especially if I’m not expecting them, frighten me. I’m big enough to admit it. I panic. As if I’ve never heard a car honk before. Then after, when I realize that the end of the world isn’t coming, I quickly (and frantically) scan the street ahead of me to see who had honked. If I can’t find them in the first two seconds, I just wave. Recklessly might I add, and keep searching. Finally, when I do manage to find the person I know, I rarely have time to make direct eye contact and I end up looking like a lunatic to the surrounding cars and fellow passengers… I’m sure they feel comfortable that they’re about to enter a confined space with me….

Later, as I meet the person in the car a few days later, he/she greets me and asks me if I am OK, to which I must explain my little game…

Yep.

Thanks for reading this!

Till later, Turtle

I’m looking for a word that begins with “N” and ends in “o.”

thestoryofturtle — Sat, 24 May 2008 22:34:01 +0000

Ok. So yeah. Let me confess something to you. I have trouble saying no. Really. Well… I can say the word. No. See… that wasn’t hard. But the real trouble comes when I actually have to apply it to real life situations. The only people that I can say no to would have to be my family and very close friends… and usually I won’t say no to their requests because even though the situation may not be ideal… I WANT to be there for them. However, my family and close friends also know when I don’t want to do something. As my dear sister had informed me once:

“When I ask you to go somewhere with me and you get a blank stare across your face… I know you’re not interested. But if you say yes… that’s what it means.”

Why can’t everyone pick up on that?

For instance:

Sister: Do you want to see Gone with the Wind with me…
Me: *blank stare*
Sister: Ok…

Anyway… my issue with saying no comes in the form of trivial things… as you could tell from that brilliant example. There are just some activities that I will never fully enjoy. And when I tell people these things, some just refuse to believe it. For instance, I have a very vocal friend… I’ll call him Tom.

Me: I don’t like football…
Tom: What? Yes you do.
Me: What do you mean, “Yes I do?” I don’t like football.
Tom: Nope. We’re going to a football game this Saturday.
Me: But…
Tom: I’ll call you later…
Me: Arg!

I realize this has to do with standing up for myself but still… Tom is a nice person… and only means well. Oh dear. Do you see my dilemma?

Don’t misunderstand me… I will say no… If I truly think someone is taking advantage of me or I think that I really need to stop (i.e.: like when I have to pay to do something I don’t want to do.) But with things like football… it seems silly to complain. He paid for the tickets and everything… but I still find it bothersome that some people just won’t listen.

Does that make me a good friend that I will do things with my friends that I don’t want to do just because they are my friends or should I put my foot down? I feel like I have a pretty good balance… with no… but when it comes to little things like football…I get suckered in… I just don’t know.

Ah well… this post was a little introspective… but it felt great to write it out! Thanks for reading!

Till later,

Turtle

PS: I have no problem with Gone with the Wind except I’ve read it twice… once for a literature class… another time for history… and I saw the movie three times in between… I think I’ve had enough of Scarlett O’Hara for a lifetime…

Who I am… was… and want to be…

thestoryofturtle — Thu, 08 May 2008 04:01:12 +0000

Ok. So yeah. This post was inspired by Huckdoll. The idea of the post is to compare the jobs that you have had and have to the jobs that you wish you had. So here I go. But first I have to admit that the occupations that I’ve had will be underwhelming and somewhat few. However, I will do my best to piece everything together… it doesn’t really matter though; the occupations that I wished for are much more interesting. So here I go…

Things that I am doing… or have done…

1. Baby… haha. I’m kidding.

Seriously,

1. Babysitter: Yep. I know. Very cliché, but hey. I was young. I still do it. But now I must do this out of the kindness of my heart… darn. So it’s not a job anymore. But I do like children… regardless of how many times I will make the claim that this isn’t true.

2. Altar Boy: Yep… I was an altar boy. I can’t deny it. And while you may think that this isn’t a job, you haven’t done this with the church I had. It seriously felt like a part time job. We also were sometimes paid to do weddings and funerals.

3. Camp counselor: I still do this. Every summer since I was 14. I went up to camp to work. Granted now, the job had become harder. I now have to teach about six classes a day on environmental issues. Although I have to admit that I love it.

4. Office assistant: That job title is a little too fancy for what I actually do, but hey, why not? Strangely, I love this job. Maybe not the work… but the people I get to know. Unfortunately, I’m done now… I’ll be back when I go back to school.

That’s it. I know. Not very exciting. But what can I say?

Now for the jobs that I had wanted since I was a little one:

1. Forest Ranger: Why not? I was really into the idea of the hats…

2. News Anchor: Yes. I wanted to be on television. I wanted the special bond and playful banter these people had. I didn’t want to be a star… just locally known.

3. Marriage Counselor: I really was dead set on this occupation. I watched way too much primetime television. At one point I really thought the whole idea of being a marriage counselor was to, and I quote myself when I was younger; “listen to these people’s problems and tell them to get divorced.” Oh gosh. I’m glad that I’ve been able know better.

4. Sports-Clothing Designer: Could I have gotten any more specific on this occupation? I mean really. I’m not even going to get into it.

Ok… now let me just cue you in on my child hood… please finish the sentence and apply it with one of the four above…

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“I want to be a ____________.”

Yep.

5. Writer: I picked this up in sixth grade and didn’t let go of it until about freshman year of high school.

6. Teacher: Yep. This is what I’m going to university for, and I’m really happy about it. Hopefully I’ll be able to put this up with my first list…

Feel free to steal the blog post idea.

Till later, Turtle

The Textbook Cycle

thestoryofturtle — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:45:24 +0000

1) Begin you semester by picking out all of your books a few days before it begins. However, be sure to go after everyone else has gone. This way you won’t be tricked into purchasing a cheaper, used edition. If all of the copies are gone, even better, you can guarantee that your books are new by backordering them. Nothing like waiting a few weeks into the semester without books to guarantee yourself quality.

2) Look around the store aimlessly with your arms and roster outstretched until a person; anybody really, feels an awkward obligation to help you on your search for your books.

3) Fumble with a stack of heavy textbooks in your hands up to the counter, spilling them all over the counter. Yes, there may have been a line, and people may be looking at you angrily, but you now have the counter woman’s attention. I mean after all, what does everyone want but for you to leave, and for the awkward moment to pass.

4) Have your debit/credit card ready for purchase. What!?!? You thought you would be paying cash. Ha! I highly doubt that wallets are made large enough…

5) On your way out, lie to yourself. Keep going over in your head how all of your textbooks are worth the cost, that you will be using the books to their full potential. Watch out world, you’re ready to learn.

6) Throw away all of the extra cards, CD’s, and pamphlets… who uses them anyway?

7) Attend first days of classes and realize that most of the professors had assigned the incorrect books, and head to the store to exchange them.

8 ) Repeat step number 7 for the second day of classes.

9) During the semester, try not to make marks on the books, in order to be able to resell them after finals.

10) Arrive at the realization that you won’t have to worry about number 9 for half of your classes as the professors rarely teach out of the text.

11) Try to convince yourself that it was worth the money. Lie if you must.

12) Wait eagerly for finals week to come. You need the money when you sell the books back.

13) The day you want to sell your books back, wake up extra early and head to the store in order to get ahead of the “selling back frenzy.”

14) Get to the store only to be met by a line a mile long.

15) Make you acquaintance with the person in front of you, and eventually, in back of you.

16) The girl in front of you is named Jenny, and the gentleman behind you is George. How nice.

17) Bond with Jenny and George by making random and mocking comments on the length of the line.

18 ) Nod your head and hum in agreement to Jenny and George’s remarks about the line.

19) While waiting, and making comments, mentally ward off people from cutting in line. Let’s just hope they won’t have to feel your wrath.

20) Finally get to your turn to sell back the book only to realize that the book isn’t worth as much as it would have been with the extra cards, CD’s, and pamphlets.

21) Regret following step 6.

22) Give in and sell back your books at less than half the price.

23) Check out how much the book that you sold back is being sold for and notice that it was $30 more than what the store gave you for your book.

24) On your way out threaten to take your business online next time you want to buy your textbooks for the semester in a romantic fantasy of being a vigilante: fighting the major conglomerate that is the bookstore.

25) Have the line still waiting nod and cheer in approval as you reflect upon all the money you will save.

26) Never follow through: Repeat process.

Till later, Turtle

Chicken…Cheese… and ummm…

thestoryofturtle — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 01:05:47 +0000

What does a butcher carry with him to work?

A BEEFCase… hehe…

What do you call a cow lying down?

Ground Beef…

*Groan* I know, but hopefully you got a little chuckle. Anyway, let me just say that I’m not a fan of beef. Nope. Not for me. However, this severely limits my choices at restaurants as the people I am friends with go to such dining establishments as steakhouses to McDonalds. Yum. I have now grown used to finding that I have become accustomed to chicken, cheese, and potatoes. Yeah. While I do enjoys salads, I usually find that some restaurants find their creative outlet in these dishes and put random things in them that sometimes don’t actually qualify as a salad in my point of view. You would think that various assortment of meats in a bowl would be considered a stir-fry of some sort, but no. Salad. Duh, why didn’t I know that? I’m often tempted to order a head of lettuce. I wonder if they can do that. How would they charge me?

Fish is also something that I have become a bit particular about. Most of the fish that happens to be on menus are either fish that I just don’t like or deep fried. I would really have to look to see if there is a fish dish that meets my qualifications… heh, listen to me, I sound as if I had some type of high standard or something, but I just want to know what’s going into my body.

As for pastas, when at home, this seems to be the main dish that my family consumes. Therefore, I’m not too keen on looking for it at restaurants. This has therefore left me with no choice but to turn to the only option I have left: Chicken. I can always find grilled chicken, and thus it is healthy for me to eat. I know this isn’t totally true, but a lie I would like to accept as I would like to eat something. So, I end up settling for a chicken/cheese/potato combo. Yes, I know. In all reality this wasn’t any better overall, but at least I like the taste and can pretend that I’m doing the healthy thing. Right? AND I don’t have to stumble over the question: “How would you like it cooked.” Yep. I have it all figured out.

Nope. I lied. The truth is I’m kind of tired of chicken a cheese as well. The only variation I have is when we get pizza, and that’s the same order as well. Oh dear. I really need to pick better eating habits as I want to remain healthy. So does anyone have any suggestions on something that isn’t a salad, beef, chicken, fish, or pasta? Please let me know. Or even if it is one of the foods I mentioned. Any luck in finding it appealing? Is there a certain way of ordering my meat? Yes? I hope. However, I am a bit flimsy on getting my food the way I want. I just never wanted to hassle the waiter/waitress. Hmmm…

Thanks for reading!

Till later, Turtle

So you can’t vote people off the bus?

thestoryofturtle — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 04:16:02 +0000

Alright, so, you may know that I take the bus very often as my main transportation to school. My school’s parking lot is horrible and can only accommodate about half of what it currently needs. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to divulge upon the lovely and brilliant public transportation system. Yes, you know the one, with all the friendly folks that ride the massive motor vehicles, the huge hunks of metal that if you live in the city, probably slows your commute to work significantly. Oh the joys of knowing that you’re “helping the environment.” It really makes my heart feel warm and gives me tingles just below my skin to know that I am setting the example. Every time I wait for my bus, I know I’m making a difference in the world….

I’m sorry I just lied just then. I don’t know why I can’t tell the truth, but the sarcasm must spew out! Otherwise, I think I may just go crazy. So let me introduce you to rule number one:

1. To ride the bus you must have good sense of humor.

However, I don’t think that any amount of humor can make public transportation ok, especially with some of the people that I must interact with. This brings me to rule number two:

2. If someone can’t seem to find their seat and ends up on you lap, you have the right to say something… and if they don’t move, push if necessary.

Yes, it’s true; people sometimes will sit on you. It happens. However a very angry Turtle also happens, so it all evens out. This brings me to my Third rule:

3. While being sat on isn’t pleasurable, please note the personal space is very subjective and flexible in distance while on the bus.

If you can’t handle someone’s arm on your shoulder for a few seconds, I suggest not taking the bus. And as the theme in this post, the next rule:

4. If it’s easier for you not to take public transportation, then don’t.

Just saying. I like privacy, and rule number 5:

5. Never use public transportation without thinking that you won’t have at least twelve conversations with random strangers.

People like to talk. At least here, so be open to having a conversation. You may actually find some interesting people that you wouldn’t have met otherwise, and let us now examine strategy number 6:

6. NO CONVERSATION IS PRIVATE.

While, I don’t care you talk about, and trust me, I will never ask, please don’t get all huffy that someone chimes in. You don’t like it? Who asked you to take the bus? However,

7. Cell phone conversations aren’t open for your discussion.

a) While cell phone conversations are fine, please take them off of speaker phone, no one cares. I promise.

b) Looking over someone’s shoulder while they are texting (in any situation) isn’t permitted.

Yeah, the phone is a little strange, but so are some of the people that take the bus. Rule number 8:

8. Some people that take the bus are different, and a bit quirky. No one asked you to criticize them.

This is only if they do ask you, then go ahead. But remember:

9. It doesn’t matter how many ballots you cast to your bus driver, you can’t vote people off the bus.

It’s true. My “friend” tried it once… *cough.* However, telling someone else about the person later on is fine as well is rule number 10:

10. Humorous bus/train stories and interactions with other metro-goers are great conversation starters.

It’s like siblinghood. You should try it, it’s only takes one ride, and lets wrap this up with rule number 11:

11. Everyone should really take public transportation at least once.

As any person has taken public transportation knows, this isn’t all, but I’m sure there is a limit to a post I’m sure. If you have a tip, feel free to add it.

Till later, Turtle

PS: I’m sorry for any spelling/grammer errors in this particulat post, I’m a bit tired. But I was kinda looking forward to this post.

My war with doors…

thestoryofturtle — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 21:46:00 +0000

You would think that after so many years of life, that I would be able to work a door? Right? No, apparently not. I’m growing to hate doors, especially the ones that make little sense! Could I ask this; if you happened to be exiting a store and you saw a handle on this door, wouldn’t your first reaction be to pull it? *Assumes that you answered yes* exactly. So, I proceeded to pull open the door. However, it doesn’t open, so I begin to panic thinking that the door is locked, and I pull a pull harder, no go. Hmmm… I don’t know what to do at this point, so I try to find another exit. As I turn around to leave I hear the door open and close, and I turn around to see a woman and her child leaving the store… ummm… ok. So, I walk up to the door and pull again… it doesn’t go. At this point I was rather confused, what made this door so complicated to operate?

It was then I looked at the handle, in which it said “push.” Oh… *blush.* Next time I should really try to read the instructions, but the door had a handle to pull! It wasn’t a pushing handle, if it were, then I would have pushed. Do you see? If the doors just came with one of those metal plates that went on the door to push the door, it would have made perfect sense. Why even have a handle on that side of the door? Needless to say, I tried to get out of there as quickly as possible hoping that no one saw me… Why do I have moments like these?

So, in conclusion, read the directions, even if they are on how to use doors, you can never be too safe. HAHA… now looking back on it I think I would have chuckled if it wasn’t me…

Till later, Turtle

I’m a clockwatcher…

thestoryofturtle — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 18:09:56 +0000

Hello, I am Turtle, and I am a clock watcher.

Really! I am; I look at the clock excessively! Today in class, I counted how many times I could look at the clock in one minute… six times! I knew that the clock wouldn’t change in one minute, but yet I felt the compulsion to do so. This is why I can’t wear a watch, not only is it uncomfortable, but it also fuels my addiction to the clock. Ahhh… I just looked at it just now. I should really eliminate that clock in the far right corner… it does me no good, but in case you’re wondering, it is 12:52 PM… Maybe in three seconds, it’ll be 12:53… Anyway, I’m not exactly sure what’s so enthralling about the clock, I mean, it you can always tell the ending… the next number. I mean, the only exciting part of this entertainment happens to be Daylight Savings time; we either skip or relive an hour (although it is interesting). I hope I didn’t ruin the ending for all the other clock watchers out there… but I think its time you faced your problem head on. Because clockwatching is a disease, and it’s contagious!

“Contagious?!?!” You may ask. Yes. If you stare at the clock long enough, you’ll eventually get someone else to do the same… I mean, I know the same has been done when it came to other things as well: looking up in the sky, standing in a random line, yawning, and other such nonsense. But clockwatching is in a different realm. It’s a whole ‘nother ball game. Clockwatching is forever. It’s true, once you begin clockwatching, you’re hooked forever, and there isn’t any quitting. You just have to know the time, all the time…

Me: What time is it?
Friend: Ummm… 6:03
Me: Oh… ok, thanks.
Friend: Yup.
Me: Now, what time is it?
Friend: 6:03… Plus two seconds…
Me: Phew! That’s good!

It’s happened! That very conversation, and yet I still can’t stop myself… just plop me in front of a huge clock, and I think I’ll be content. Hopefully one day, I’ll be able to kick this habit… clockwatching. One day. So, clock watchers out there, find help!

Till later, Turtle